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August 11, 2010
I still think America's Got Talent should have/was only obligated to take one act from the YouTube pool of contestants. Instead, they felt the need to move four acts to the next round, out of guilt? legal obligation? Who can say. But because they insisted on advancing four of these mediocre acts on, instead of just The One (*cough*Jackie Evancho*cough*), my guesses as to who would move on to the next level was proven partially wrong again. Not entirely wrong, just a quarter wrong. Which means most of my guesses were right. And I've got some tips for you to how you can choose yourself some America's Got Talent winners. Not all of them mind you, but a solid 75% of them.
For instance:
1. America loves a prodigy.
 NBC |
So, yes. I thought Maestro Alexander Bui's performance was boring. And calling himself "Maestro" is not only kinda pompous but brings to mind a particular Seinfeld character, and that makes me giggle. But, yes, he's supremely talented, and from last night's group of 12, he certainly deserved to move on to the next round. Next up, Maestro needs to play something that America can connect with.
2. A well-performed gross-out act can captivate America.
 NBC |
Dan Sperry (which, if you say it fast enough sounds an awful lot like "dance fairy," which he most certainly is not) is freaky. But that's kinda awesome when we're talking about pulling Pep-O-Mints with dental floss out of one's throat skin. If you didn't see it, trust us, it was kinda cool. Now he needs to bring the Big Gross-Out. Or at least some sort of gross-out that NBC can get past the FCC.
3. Oh, come on, I need to explain this to you?
 NBC |
Girl can sing. I'm not saying she doesn't also creep me out a little -- let's all be honest here, that voice is just not normal. What I am saying is: see #1 above: America loves a prodigy. And Jackie Evancho is a real prodigy. In case you were unclear.
4. I don't know, America loves Pat Benatar wannabes?
 NBC |
I had Cute Boy Cam Hodges on my list, but, alas, t'was not to be. Cam and Kristin Young were the acts that the judges had to choose between, and they went with Kristin. CONSPIRACY THEORY ALERT: I think they chose Kristin over Cam, not because she was all that much better than him, because she wasn't, but because they already have a surplus of Cute Boy singers. Anyway! Best of luck to ya, Kristin! Hope you don't have to compete against Jackie again any time soon!
